Rejected By City Hall
by Aaron D
Summary: When Dr. Wily takes over City hall, another gender-bending adventure ensues as Yard Lady (formerly Yard Man) leads the Robot Rejects in a misguided effort to free the city from Doc's clutches! Now COMPLETE! (Sequel to Dr. Wily's Robot Rejects) It's risque
1. One

  


Rejected By City Hall 

  
  
by Aaron D. Roberts

* * *

"So, I lost my job watering the city's lawns because I started to rust again!" Sprinkler Man sobbed. 

Yard Lady, formerly Yard Man, sighed, picked up the flask out of her jacket, and began drinking. The thing about Sprinkler Man was that he was a crybaby. That might have seemed fitting for a robot of the 000 Series whose power was to shoot water forth from the many small openings throughout his body. It probably WAS fitting, but it was also damned annoying. Especially when he cried. 

Yard Lady realized this may have been somewhat unkind of her to point out, but it wasn't like she was actually saying it. She was only _thinking_ it. The other thing about Sprinkler Man was that his face was basically an old-style lawn sprinkler with two large white eyes set in the middle. It was hard to take someone who looked like that seriously. 

"You think _you've_ got it tough," she interrupted, addressing the entire group session of Dr. Wily's Robot Rejects. "I woke up last month with a pair of fucking tits and eighty percent of Monstropolis's robot population trying to get into my pants. Beat that, you pussy." 

"We know you've had to make some...difficult adjustments, Yard Ma--Lady," said Proto Man in his "group therapy" voice. Yard Lady had recently learned he was much, much less well-adjusted than he seemed when leading a session of the Robot Rejects. "We respect your problems, but please remember you need to respect everyone else's problems, too." 

"All right," she grumbled. "Sorry, Sprinkler Man." 

"It's okay," he said, and she knew it WAS okay, now, because he was staring with those two googly white eyes at her newly-remodeled chest. 

As she had done several times in the past few weeks, Yard Lady walked over to the Robot Rejects coffee pot, so generously supplied by Monstropolis Community Center #3, and poured herself a cup of java, spiking it liberally with rye whiskey. She sat down at her designated spot in the circle just as Centaur Man was sharing his latest difficulty. 

"It's really tough to work in a china store with my...unique body style," said the centaur robot. "I break something pretty much every day, and sometimes it's hard to justify why I did it..." 

Yard Lady tried not to groan. Most robots would have said she now led a privileged life, being the prototype of the 100 Series of all-female robots and all, just like Mega Man (or, it could be argued, Proto Man) was the first robot of the 000 Series. It had its perks---she didn't really have to mow lawns all day, unless she wanted to, she could get free booze on Dr. Light's tab, in face she could get a LOT of free stuff, from movie tickets to hotel rooms to luxury suites for the Montropolis Monsters games---but overall, she wasn't sure she was any better off than she had been as Yard Man. 

This definitely had its downside, some of which she'd already brought up during this meeting. Dr. Light, old horn-dog that he was, had wanted Yard Lady's costume to be nothing but a yellow-and-green body wrap that barely covered anything at all, plus some kind of weird-looking green tiara to go amongst her blond hair. Yard Lady compromised. She wore Dr. Light's costume, then wore Yard Man's old costume on top of it. This had managed to work quite well, and it even still looked fairly feminine, although she wasn't sure whether that was a good or bad thing. The funny thing was, while her old body had been substantially bulkier than her new one, the chest plate of her armor still fit perfectly. This had led Yard Lady to believe that Dr. Light had built her to some juvenile standard of female beauty that, unfortunately, Yard Man would have been very attracted to. Luckily, she didn't have to wear her costume except while working and during public appearances. 

As Yard Lady finished her spiked coffee, listening to Centaur Man's problems with his ridiculous job, she spilled some on her chest. Damn it! She picked up a napkin from the table behind her and started wiping up the mess. Urrgh! This was her favorite T-shirt, and that stain was really in there. She started rubbing the stain vigorously, grunting with the effort. 

At some point, Yard Lady realized that everyone had ceased talking, and that all the Robot Rejects were now staring at her activity with great interest. Then, she thought about what she had been doing must have looked like from a male perspective. "Sorry," she apologized as Sprinkler Man began shooting water uncontrollably from his pebbled body. 

"If you're done..." Proto Man said. 

"No, I'm not done," said Yard Lady. "I'm tired of hanging around here all the time. Let's take a field trip this weekend or something. We could go to Vegas." 

Everyone looked around at each other. "We don't really have the money for that," said Dolphin Man apologetically. 

"Yeah," said Door Man, a Robot Reject that Yard Lady had never met before tonight. "I'd love to hit the slots, but I've got a job. I can take some days off, but I don't get paid. I can't afford it." Door Man worked as a doorman at a local apartment complex, and although his body was, indeed, a large door, it didn't really lead to anywhere except the other side of his body, a reason for which he had not been selected to fight Mega Man in any of Dr. Wily's campaigns. 

"You mean the club doesn't have any funding at all?" said Yard Lady. 

"Well," said Proto Man, "we do have the volunteer fund, which everyone is encouraged to contribute to, but most of us don't make that much money, so right now it's only got thirteen dollars and forty-one cents in it. Not enough to go to Vegas, that's for sure." 

"We're in a Community Center," said Yard Lady. "Doesn't that mean we're officially a city organization? And that means we're entitled to some grant money." 

"Aye," said Leprechaun Man. "The lass is right. Sure'n we need ta get on the dole." 

"Damn straight, honey," said Star Man. 

"So let's all go down to City Hall tomorrow and get the Robot Rejects some money straight from Uncle Sucker," said Yard Lady. The Robot Rejects rose from their seats and cheered in unison.

* * *

Yard Lady woke up the next morning around ten AM, showered, and got dressed in her most conservative-looking business attire, binding her hair back severely. The only way she was discernable from a human woman, besides her physically inconceivable figure, that was, was the small red "R" patch on her left breast pocket. Satisified with her appearance, she went downstairs and was almost to Dr. Light's front door when she was stopped. 

"Oh, good morning, Yard Lady? Where are you off to?" 

"I'm going to City Hall," Yard Lady said perfunctorily. "We're gonna try to get the Robot Rejects some public funding." 

Roll looked cockeyed at the newly-remodeled groundskeeping robot. "Why are you going to do that? Why don't you stay here and make some tea, then we'll drink it and clean up the living room? Mega Man always loves it when I do that." 

"Uh, yeah," said Yard Lady, "I'm sure he does. I have better things to do, though, so off I go..." 

Roll stopped her before she could escape. "Why do you hang out with those losers, anyway? You're not a reject. You're one of the most remarkable robots on the planet." Roll was always trying to "bond" with Yard Lady, maybe because they were the only two female sapient robots currently in existence. 

Yeah, you bitch, thought Yard Lady, you didn't think I was so great back when I was a guy, did you? "Look," she said, "one thing I know about the Robot Rejects is that I can trust them. They were my friends back when I was a nobody, so I know they're not just hanging around me because I'm hot or because I'm new and popular, you know what I mean?" 

Roll smiled at her blankly, without an iota of understanding. "No, not really." 

"That's what I thought," said Yard Lady, and she walked out the door. 

The Robot Rejects met in front of City Hall promptly at eleven, just as they'd agreed the night previous. Except for Yard Lady and Star Man, no one was in civilian formalwear whatsoever. Star Man was sharply dressed in a white disco suit, complete with lavender scarf and ice blue dancing shoes. Everyone else had just worn their battle costumes, Proto Man included. 

"All right," said Proto Man, "let's go on in. I did some checking, and the Municipal Funding Department is located on the first floor, Room 237. Apparently all we need to do is fill out a few forms, and we've got government supplements! Let's get moving!" 

The Robot Rejects trudged up the stairs, and after making a few turns within City Hall, arrived at the Municipal Funding Department. "Excuse me," Proto Man said to the woman at the window, "our group would like to apply for a monthly city stipend." 

"Name?" 

"Dr. Wily's Robot Rejects." 

"Purpose of group?" 

"Uh, to provide a place of social and emotional support for those robots who have been rejected by Dr. Wily." 

"And Dr. Light," interjected Yard Lady, who had been built by Dr. Light but had never even been considered as one of Dr. Wily's lieutenants. 

"And Dr. Light," Proto Man repeated, as he had also been rejected by Dr. Light. 

"Wait a second," said the woman. "Are you sure you haven't already applied for this?" 

"Yes," said Dolphin Man from behind the others. 

The woman typed up something on her computer. "It says here that Bubble Man has already applied for a group grant under the name 'Wily's Robot Rejects.' There must be some mistake, unless you are fraudulently representing yourselves, in which case I'll have no choice but to remand you to police custody." 

Tears started flowing out from under Proto Man's visor. "You mean we can't...uh!" The first of the 000 Series sank to the carpeted floor, sobbing. 

Yard Lady sighed. This was one of Proto Man's problems. Most people were unaware of this difficulty. Proto Man had an unbelievably sensitive personality. Even back when he had first fought Mega Man, this emotional sensitivity had played a part. Anytime it looked like Mega Man was about to defeat his older brother, Proto Man had just evacuated the battle. This much was general knowledge, but what was not known was that after teleporting out, Proto Man had spent the next three days crying in the fetal position at Mega Man's rejection of him. In fact, so little was known of these battles that most civilians still thought of Proto Man as Break Man, name which Dr. Wily had given him. 

So, Proto Man had been prone to fits of depression, culminating in his crying on the floor, generally in the fetal position. This was what the white-and-red clad robot was doing now. 

"Aw, great!" Yard Lady complained to the clerk. "Look what you did! He's in a fit of depression! Now I'm gonna have to _sleep_ with him to cheer him up!" 

"Huh?" Proto Man said with great interest, sitting up on the floor. 

"_**I KNEW IT!!!!**_" Yard Lady screamed in triumph. "I knew you were faking those little fits!" 

Suddenly, all of the lights in City Hall flickered out. Then, a strangely familiar voice came over the public address system. "Attention, all of youse currently in Monstropolis City Hall. This is Dr. Albert Wily. My good friend and compatriot, Thunder Man, happens to be currently holdin' your mayor hostage, and I recommend you surrender the city to me, pronto, or face the consequences..."

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED... 


	2. Two

  


Rejected by City Hall 

  
  
Part Two

* * *

Yard Lady motioned for the other Robot Rejects to be silent as they crept up to the mayor's office. Sure, Dr. Wily had taken over City Hall, holding the mayor hostage, but there wasn't much to worry about. If Mega Man had done one thing right during his tenure as the city of Monstropolis's protector, he'd proven that as evil geniuses went, Dr. Wily was about as competent as Heat Man was at making mayonnaise (a city-wide disaster occured during the ultra-hot robot's infamous first attempt, one which was best forgotten. Some cleaning units were still finding congealed mayo in certain alleys and deserted subway stations). 

Suffice it to say, Yard Lady had no qualms about taking the doctor on. She may not have had Mega Man's Arm Cannon or his ability to mimic other robot's powers, but she _did_ have half a dozen other robots with her, which was almost as good (better, she might have said, if those aforementioned robots weren't the Robot Rejects). Of all of her companions, only Proto Man and Star Man were battle-tested, and both of them had proved themselves less than adequate in their clashes with the Blue Bomber. 

This lack of combat experience had, as she might have expected, led to some reluctance on the Rejects' parts to take on their evil creator (except in the case of Proto Man and herself), but after cajoling them for several minutes, Yard Lady had finally convinced them that if nothing else, they would be able to steal some glory from Mega Man by showing that someone else was actually capable of taking on Wily and prevailing. 

Yard Lady herself had never been in combat, except for the drunken barroom kind. Still, the city would have no choice but to give the Rejects government funding if they, as a group, saved the mayor from Wily's clutches. "Door Man!" she whispered sharply, signaling for the door-shaped 000 Series robot to come forward. "I'm going to open the door," she explained. "I want you to go in and block off the open door, so it looks like nothing's happened." 

"Okay," said Door Man agreeably. 

Yard Lady silently opened the door, and as Door Man used his own door-shaped body as a concealing shield, she heard Dr. Wily's voice as he spoke to the mayor, who was tied to his desk chair. 

"...and seein' as how all I wants is complete and total control of the globe," Wily said in his thick Bronx accent, "I must admit I have more than a bit a' ', as you might say, why others seemed so opposed to said situation." 

"Whatever you say, Dr. Wily," said the mayor in an exasperated tone, as if he had been listening to the evil roboticist drone on for hours, which he may have been. 

Meanwhile, Yard Lady and the Robot Rejects were sneaking up, ever so slowly, on Wily. Door Man took another step forward every few seconds, so as not to be noticed by the room's occupants. Through Door Man's mail slot, she got her first peek at Thunder Man. Dr. Wily's latest robot creation was perhaps the most streamlined of his efforts to date. He was shaped like a man, for all intents and purposes, although he appeared to be in a skin-tight body suit. His entire body was colored an electric blue, and the only parts of his face not covered by his electric blue mask were his large eyes. He had a hand placed protectively on the mayor's shoulder. Though, now that Yard Lady thought about it, Thunder Man's hand was likely a weapon, which would mean it was placed threateningly on the mayor rather than otherwise. 

Wily was continuing what was, for all intents and purposes, a monologue. "...so's I thought to myself, how could I do dis? Then, it came to me. A really _primo_ way for me to take over the city, and what have you, would be to hold the esteemed mayoral personage, by which I mean yourself, hostage, and threaten to do bodily-type harm to youse unless control of Montropolis is turned over into my very own hands. Or, at least, until I am given a surreptitiously large amount of cash." 

God, Wily was a windbag! Yard Lady had only met the doctor on one previous occasion, right after Wily's fourth escape from prison, but even at that time, he (for she had still been Yard Man then) was amazed at how much the dastardly doctor like the sound of his own voice. 

"You're such a genius, Dr. Wily," said Thunder Man randomly. 

"Natch," said Wily, and he proceeded to explain his robot's assertion at length. 

Groaning inwardly, Yard Lady continued sneaking up behind Door Man, who was still inching forward. Evidently, none of the room's occupants had yet noticed that the office door was not only the wrong color, but was now growing slowly larger and closer. Feeling a tug on her ankle, she turned around. Star Man, still dressed in his white disco suit and mauve shirt, looked at her and mouthed something. 

"What?" she whispered. 

"Nice shoes," Star Man mouthed plainly. 

Yard Lady flipped off the fabulously-dressed Robot Master and returned to her task. Door Man shuddered a little a little as she re-opened his mail slot. Wondering why that was, Yard Lady peered through again at Dr. Wily, Thunder Man, and their momentary hostage. 

"...so as you can plainly see," Dr. Wily was finishing, "it don't make no sense, from a profit-type standpoint, to create Robot Masters which have the F-63 logic circuits installed within their skulls. Dis, however, can have whatcha call 'drawbacks' when it involves certain motor skills, includin' the canning procedures. Dat was what happened wit' Heat Man and his homemade mayo..." 

Yard Lady turned to her compatriots. "All right," she said softly, so as not to alert Dr. Wily to her presence, "who's up? Somebody's gotta fight Thunder Man." 

The Robot Rejects looked at one another, none wanting to be the first to volunteer. 

"How about you, Star Man? You've got that great weapon...um, err, what was it, again?" 

Star Man shrugged, at least, as much as someone lying on the floor would be able to. "Hell, I don't remember." 

"Shit." Yard Lady turned her attention to Proto Man. "How about you?" 

Proto Man gulped a bit. "Well, I guess I can, but it's been a while since I've been in a fight." He charged up his Arm Cannon and stood up. 

Yard Lady did so as well, and the two led the Robot Rejects through Door Man's door. Dr. Wily, Thunder Man, and the mayor of Montropolis all stared at the newcomers, although Yard Lady thought they might have already guessed at their presence, since Door Man was now only four or five feet away from them. Both sides were so caught up in staring at the other that none of the room's occupants noticed the flashing red light on the security camera above them.

* * *

"_Here's Jim with the latest footage from the crisis in City Hall,_" said the newsreader on television. "_Jim?_" 

"_Thanks, Margie,_" said another newscaster, voicing over black-and-white security footage. "_As you can see, the renowned evil scientist Dr. Wily is having his latest mechanical monstrosity, Thunder Man, hold the mayor hostage. This latest video shows some new robots coming to assist the evil doctor as well, including the notorious Break Man. I don't seem to recognize any of the other robots, or the woman standing with them, but we'll keep you up-to-date on the latest..._" 

"This looks bad, Mega Man," said Roll, sitting next to her brother on the sofa. 

"Oh, man," said Mega Man, leaping up from the couch. "Looks like I'd better head on down there and see if I can do anything to help." 

"That looks like Yard Lady!" Roll said. 

"Yeah," Mega Man agreed. "What is she doing there?" He put on his helmet and re-attached his Arm Cannon. Luckily, Mega Man had taken to always wearing his armor in case of a robot attack. He darted out Dr. Light's front door, calling for Rush to change into his jet form. 

Roll sighed in admiration. Her brother was the greatest guy on the face of the planet.

* * *

"Yard Lady!" Dr. Wily said, a pleased look on his face. "What a pleasure it is to finally meet youse! Now hold still for a second whilst I re-program your every whim and desire." He reached both hands out towards her, approachingly threateningly. 

"Hands off, buster!" Over the last few weeks, Yard Lady had gotten in plenty of practice fending off men's hands that were directed toward her chest area. This enabled her to stop Doctor Wily's evil scheme, whatever it might have been, before he even had a chance to touch her. She pried apart his grasping hands, not sure if, in fact, Wily was actually going for her programming chamber of for a...more interesting part of her anatomy. 

"Here is what's going to happen," she said matter-of-factly, shoving the mad scientist backwards. "First, you are not ever going to try to touch me again. Got it?" Wily nodded. "Next, your little shock-boy---and on a personal note, may I say that I think you're showing a _remarkable_ lack of originality when it comes to your latest robot designs? Elec Man, Spark Man, Thunder Man---is going to face Proto Man in the fight of his life. Then, when Thunder Pants loses, we're going to kick your sorry ass from here to next week." 

"Proto Man?" said Dr. Wily incredulously. "He couldn't win a fight against a kitten!" 

Seeing such disdain given him by the man who had activated him, Proto Man started sniffing, then sobbing, then he collapsed to the floor and crawled into a ball. "Dammit," Yard Lady said, watching the first of the 000 Series crying helplessly without abandon. "We don't have time for this!" 

"Ahem," Dr. Wily coughed. 

"Okay, okay," Yard Lady said, "I guess we give up. You win, Doc." 

"What?" several of the Robot Rejects said at staggered intervals. 

"Yeah," Yard Lady said, winking at the Rejects so that Wily could not see. "We give up. Sprinkler Man, get over there and shake Doc's hand." She grabbed Sprinkler Man by his wiry metal arm and thrust the watering robot in between Dr. Wily and Thunder Man. "Sprinkler Man is going to be the first of us to swear loyalty to you, oh Mighty One. Shake hands with him, Sprinkler Man." 

Sprinkler Man, who clearly had no intention of going back over to Wily's side, but was too confused to do anything else, obeyed Yard Lady's orders. He held out his arm to his creator, who offered his hand in return. 

Meanwhile, Yard Lady was putting the second part of her plan into action. Turning away from the scene, she unbuttoned her shirt, then unooked her brassiere, which, fortunately, was a front-hooking model. Then, she turned around, exposing herself to all four of the men in front of her: Sprinkler Man, Thunder Man, Dr. Wily, and the mayor. 

Sprinkler Man's head jerked involuntarily to the side, then water started shooting out of the spigots in his body spasmodically, showering both Dr. Wily and Thunder Man with water. As Yard Lady had expected, Thunder Man shorted out, the electrical energy sizzling across the water, enveloping both Sprinkler Man and Dr. Wily with its energy. After a few loud zaps and bursts of bright light later, the two robots and one man each toppled backwards to the ground, shocked but strangely satisfied looks on their faces. 

"Well," Yard Lady said, somewhat satisfied herself, as she turned back to the Robot Rejects, "I guess I showed Flash Man up a little there, didn't I?" She buttoned up her blouse, tucking it back into her navy blue skirt. None of the Rejects were responding to her joke. "Get it, guys? _Flash Man_? Heh." By the stunned looks on the Robot Rejects' faces, Yard Lady guessed that they must have caught a glimpse of her perfectly-molded breasts as well. "Jesus," she said with disdain, "you all are acting like a bunch of teenagers. Snap out of it!" Even Star Man seemed a bit overwhelmed, much to Yard Lady's surprise. "What's up with you, Starfish? I thought you were a fa---" 

The sound of breaking glass brought all of their attentions upward. A blue blur jumped through the pane of glass, shattering it. He landed on his large-booted feet, shifting his weapon around at random angles. "All right, hands up, Doctor---" He looked around and blinked. Then, he saw the collapsed figures on the floor. "What happened?" 

"We took care of the situation," Yard Lady said smugly, grinning at the scorched, inert bodies on the floor. "Guess you showed up a little late this time, huh?" 

"Yeah, whatever," said Mega Man, untying the mayor and helping him out of the chair. 

"Oh, Mega Man," the mayor said, "thank heavens you arrived in time!" It might have been her imagination, but Yard Lady suspected she caught the mayor trying to see through her shirt, still somewhat impacted by her earlier "exposure." 

"That's my job," Mega Man replied. "Oh, hey Proto Man, what's up? Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?" 

Proto Man looked like he might go back into the fetal position any moment now. 

Yard Lady growled. "What do you bet he hogs all the credit on this one?" she asked Door Man. 

"Well, you never know," Door Man said. 

"Are you...blushing?" 

"Well," he said hesitantly, "You did, um...spend a lot of time around my...er, mail slot...' 

"For Christ's sake!" Yard Lady expostulated. She saw Mega Man and the mayor go out to meet the press. "Uuuh!" she groaned angrily. "All right, let's get out of here." 

"What do we do now?" asked Star Man. 

"If nothing else, we've gotta go kick Bubble Man's ass from here to China," said Yard Lady, leading the Robot Rejects out of the mayor's office. The press conveniently ignored them. "Calling himself a 'Robot Reject.' What a load of bullshit." 

"Yeah," said Proto Man, sniffing a little as he followed the rest of them. "I started the Robot Rejects! If he doesn't relinquish the name I'll have to...I'll have to..." 

"Cry?" suggested Star Man. 

"No," Proto Man growled, his face hardening. "I'll have to _rip out his chest-pump, shove it down his mouth, and **then tear that off and shove it so far up his ass he won't be using any of the aforementioned items**_...um, for quite some time." 

Despite the lame finish, Yard Lady was proud at the initiative the Robot Rejects' leader had shown. "It's a start," she said.

* * *


End file.
